life isnt fair at most time. Everyone knows it.
People are born into different classes, had different intellectual level, look & health etc.
Everyone hope for the best, dun they?



Many had fall into the trap of rat race, competition and of using underhand methods in search of a better life.
I've thought of the worst, what i've been doing is to keep up with many unnecessary things which make the surface look appealing but those arent the things that i really want.
i've been living for others, yes, to seek attention and more.
to get into crowd, i want to be indifferent, in another word, very fake.
i misjudge lots of things. Ways i thot my life would appear glamorous.
i'm wrong, very wrong. Pretending doesnt work.
i do secretly admirer people with strong sense of their ideas and belief.(the way mel lum doesn't give face to others when she thinks its wrong, friends or not)
althot i feel they are really stubborn at times
i couldn't make it. I've tried yet thr are ppl who keeps putting me down. they discourage.



now tt i reached a turning point, i hope you wun be the one who drop me down from the peak.
because i know i couldn't take it anymore, i wants to be myself.
you may find me very selfish, annoying or inconsiderate or ungrateful.
but i could hardly see why i have to put up with somethings anymore
its just not me. i know you've been really nice to me and im nth against you except for your current mindset. Others can tell "not on good terms" but how much do they understand about the struggle in between. Everyone have flaws. I'm angry/frustrated/annoyed.

& NO, im not putting any blames, but we're heading towards diff goal, we have to walk a diff path. Even if there's any fault, it takes 2 hands to clap. i'm too sensitive.At this critical period, we have to be harsh.
i hope even if thr are ppl wishing to tear the bond apart, you wouldnt kick me out of your life.

its time for you to help yourself before you can expect others to help you
if not, you shldnt be angry over others unwillingness to help.
I think i've seen thru' it & now that i know, who are those for real.
Thanks and tts very nice of you.
look at the bright side. i found those who i can be myself to be with.


btw,

Happy Birthday TANWEIJIN

Chinese o lvl on mon.
trying to memorize as many useful phrase as possible.
i know its rather last min but if i dun, the consequences could be fatal.
hoping for a distinction.
i need self control/discipline.