Supposedly i shld be rushing my projects and sleeping early for tomorrow.
i actually complete a large portion but i somehow forget about it the last few days.
i really hate last minute work and not taking pride in whatever i do.
i have to do the outlining and its also the most difficult part to do for mine.

Anw, i have my first bite of O school Recital dance audition which i sucks really badly.
however i do love the dance routine and i guess practice make perfect.
if i cant get in this year then i'll try again next year and hopefuly do btr at the same time.
I'll take this as a learning experience, the first step closer to my goal.
At least i learnt something today.

There are times i feel really lousy.
my life revolve around the 7 deadly sins.
i tried to pull myself away but ended up falling deeper.
i am always reckless with my words.
but at times i feel, its better to be frank to some people than to keep quiet and get annoyed.
its also better to voice out your opinion at certain people than to backstabbed them behind their back.
sometimes i wished i can but i can't.


Dear stars up above, twinkling.
Do you know that you always make my day without me telling you how lousy i was feeling.
Do you know that you always answer the questions in my head without me asking at all.
Do you know the drawing you sent was kinda ugly but i still keep it because i find it beautiful in a way.
Do you know playing games with you is never boring although you keep winning.
Do you know you'll soon spoilt me by letting the game into draw when we know you're winning and also giving in all the time.
Do you know how happy i can get when you compliment me sometimes during a normal conversation.


Do you know how i can wait for you to go online everyday, i'll soon become china's most precious animal.
Do you know i lied that im used to sleeping late so that we can continue talking till its almost dawn.
Do you know how glad i was the last few days because we've been talking and talking.
Do you know how much you amazes me from the way you talk, i never expect anyone to talk the way you do.
Do you know at times when you are stress, i want to be there for you but i know i can't.
Do you know how upset i can get when i feel neglected even though i know you're kinda busy (of course you didnt do it on purpose but still....)

Do you know that the way you are nearly so perfect makes me feel downright inferior i know i have to go away.
Do you know how much i want to go star gazing with you at a quiet place, lying on the grass.
Do you know i saved every conversation of yours & get really upset when i missed out the one ytd.
Do you know how i want to slap myself when i caught myself looking at you everytime you are around.
Do you know that everytime when i say you are cute, i am not teasing and i meant it.
Do you know how i often smile when i recall the way we stared at each other because i dont recognize who you are.
Do you know you are the habit i have to kick before it slowly become the piece of puzzle in my life.
Do you know im a coward and im really afraid right now.


Do you? do you?
i dont really think you will come.
but i just feel like writing it out even though it makes me feel guilty so.
you make me feel so much.
i just know, you are different.
im dreaming of the day i can hear those words and not see them.
i really mean hearing it by my ear, your voice.
but then, dont tell me i look scary because i'll really take it into heart.

goodnight stars.
tonight you aren't around.
perhaps its a good thing for me.
i can do my work without distraction.
or maybe not, because i lost my mental support.
goodnight stars.
we know i miss you.