New York ytd. Ichiban today.
i dunno why i'm getting myself indulge into good food.
& still feeling so rich when i spent money on them.
like everything is going WRONG these days.
idk.

i dun feel good when i keep studying. but gotta keep it as a habit.
told them abt how i feel when i study.
i always set someone as i target that i have to surpass 24/7
and everytime when i lost to him/her.
i feel real lousy, upset, irritated.
no matter what, i think i have to win.
whenever i see this person. i know im better.
AND I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE.
in terms of academic and everything.
& i lost once. i dont want another.
i really feel guilty to have this thought.
but its nature competitiveness of human being.
i just want that person to be envious.
& after i've surpass him/her,
i have to find a new target.

togtogtogtog
do people just say things as they feel like.
not just lyrical.I just dont say.